There are few things as painful as losing a Loved One and there are no easy answers on how to deal with it and to be able to put Positive thinking back into our lives after it happens.
My ex-husband and I lost our daughter of 15 years in 1982 from Cardio-Hypertension. We knew from the age of 9 months old that she had an unrecoverable disease that she would eventually die of. Our world collapsed and in the years to come every time she had to go in the hospital we never knew if she would be coming home. It was too much for my ex-husband and we divorced. I then had two children --- Brenda, my 2nd daughter and Suzanne to take care of alone. I met a wonderful man that took ’the family’ lock, stock and barrel with no regrets. Suzanne lived a lot more years than we were told she would. Our way was to have Positive Thinking and to let our daughter do everything she could without putting her in a ‘bubble’ existence and letting her live life to the fullest while she could. She lived a good life and when she died we had a “Celebration of Life” in a beautiful park. Suzanne’s high school bussed all the kids that wanted to come to her ‘day of passing’ and using Positive Thinking Techniques we made Suzanne’s death one of celebrating her life instead of Negative, doomsday actions. My best friend was a professional clown at the time and Suzanne’s 2nd ‘Mom’. She dressed up in her clown outfit and we got an air tank and all the kids wrote a short note about their feelings for Suzanne and put them in balloons and at the end of the Eulogy that all of me and my husband’s friends wrote together we all let our balloons go and it was wonderful! To this day Suzanne’s friends can remember her and laugh and remember in a Positive way about times they had together.
Grieving is a natural process that cannot be rushed, ignored or stopped, but it comes to everyone differently and in different ways.
First there is denial, emptiness and shock --- I don’t care if you knew that it was going to happen. You just put one foot in front of the other --- kind of like being on ‘auto-pilot’.
Then you feel anger, sorrow, panic, and loneliness. All of these feelings are natural because a big part of your life is now gone.
Eventually though, the healing begins and you feel a renewed sense of hope and are able to start having Positive Thinking come back into your life.
I formed a support group for families of terminally ill children and we were all ‘there’ for each other through the good times and the bad.
I know that my daughter brought many Positive things into all of our lives and all of us are sooo glad that she came into our lives.
There are always people out there to talk to, to help and to lean on. Don’t ever be afraid to open up and let people in. This is a crucial point because it can save your life --- physically, emotionally and mentally.
